I knew that one day he would leave this shit hole and those words was what i have been waiting for. I never thought he would say it. I never thought he wanted me to be with him. It was only a dream to me but it came true. But every good thing comes to a bad ending.
" You shouldn't love me. You can and should find someone better then me "
BANG!!! like a bullet to my heart. He doesn't understand that there is nobody better then him. he doesn't no how much he makes me happy, makes me laugh or makes me smile. He doesn't no how sad and depressed he makes me as well. That sounds like a bad thing but its not. He makes me sad cause i love everything about him. Me n him are so alike. Maybe that's a bad thing. Maybe i should find some1 who hates everything i like. I don't know anymore I'm to confused. These days its hard to find a good guy. They only want to see you tits or have sex with you and then piss you off like your nothing. Nothing.... that's how i feel right now.
Bashed, cheated, used, and just about raped. That's what has happened to me every time i found love. Bad luck ey?
Ever since i was a little girl i would read fairy tails and think I'm a princess waiting for my prince to come and save me. I knew what i wanted my prince to be like. Kind, understanding, funny, charming, cute, has a mean side and loves me for who i am but not what i look like. He was all of that and more. Since he was everything i wanted i was to afraid to met him. He would be like:
" we have to go camping, under the stars, fishing, you in my arms "
And i would be like sorry got work. I was scared he would judge me since I'm not pretty and then we would never talk again. But look what i have done. Me and my big mouth just told him that i like him. Now its weired and i have fucked up. I think it would be better if he did go without me. Why would anyone want me anyway. Only for sex is about it. For some reason i still really like him.
Some people tell me not to talk to him anymore. Have a big brake and then talk heaps. But would that really fix things up? Some people say fight for him if you love him. They tell me I'm a great chick and that he would be fullish not to like me. I think he would be fullish if he did liked me. But would that also fix things? I tell my good friend Lil that's its over. I try to convince myself that's its over. Jessie find someone else... Jessie he don't like you... Jessie move on but nothing works. Yes i will say I'm love sick but this love sick girls heart has been broken to much that i cant feel it beating anymore.
" your beautiful, we have to met just me and you "
The goods days. -sigh-. Wow i miss them. You couldn't get me off the phone with him. We would talk n talk till the sun comes up. It was so much fun :)... we haven't done that for ages now.
I remember how we first met. Threw Luke. Lil Keisha and me would pretend we are sluts and trick guys. Well Luke added Haydn to the convo and wow he did a great job. He even tricked me by saying he lived next door and he knew my name even tho i changed it haha. We stopped talking and then at random he gave me his number and asked me to text him. So i did and I'm glad i did. we had good convos and i found out heaps about him. His fave colour is blue, his fave number is 7, he works at Fishes, he wasn't to move to Darwin, his best friend is Luke, he is 18 turning 19 on August 12 (something like that) etc.
I guess i have said enough to make anyone go crazy now lol
~Keep Safe~
x~True Love~x
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