letting it all out

you know what? its really fuked up how he says that he want to move in together but then he cant save. i mean how can we do that when u dont no how to save. im not gonna keep buying you worthless things, but on the other hand i still really love him. he looks out for me and makes sure im ok 24/7. he will stay up all night just to talk to me and wait till i feel asleep. i went to give him a kiss one day and he put his hand ova his mouth. so i was like fine i wont kiss u then and started to walk off, but he grabbed my hand, pulled me back and gave me this really big kiss. it was sooo sweet. i really do love him i just wish he didnt use me for money all the time he makes 1000 buck each fortnight. 500 a week, and now he only has 80 in his bank. it really shit me off but is it just me?

im different and i dont like it at all. i can tell i have changed, my family can see that i have changed, my bf can see i have changed and also my friends have. I HATE IT!!! i wanna go back to the old me. i snap to easy. i cry alot. i have different moods each day. grr i hate it.

there is not a day that i dont look at myself and thing holly fuk look at this ugly fat girl. i cant help it i just think it. when i went to a weeding EVERY1 said how beautiful i looked. i even had 3 boys chat me up at work. my best friend when we was at peters kept calling me gorgeous. and poking my head haha man i love her. but i have hurt her. i hope we have worked it out tho but im scared that i will hurt her or any1 again. im scared of loosing my friends and my bf. i dont think i have been this scared for ages. i shouldnt be. i no most of my friends might be here for me and i no that my bf wont leave me. grr i hate feeling like this and thinking like this. my best friend and my friends and even my bf have been the best thing that has happened in my life. i really dont wanan fuk it up because i have changed.

i use to wanna jump of a cliff. i use to think if i die every1 will be happyer. but then a beautiful caring girl wrote on her block how taking the easy way out is easy at all. she is fuking rite 100% corect and man i feel so fuking stupied. she saved my life again. i love u sis and i mean it. UR GORGEOUS!!!!!

i wanna say sorry to any1 i have hurt. thats the most important thging. i love u all. YOU ALOL HAVE A SPACE IN MY HEART!!!

woo party

anywy i gtg. seeling bangles woo if u wanna buyy one give me a call ;)

~Keep Safe~

x~True Love ~ x